Rachel couldn’t listen to him. She didn’t want to hear his words. She wanted him to leave her alone. She didn’t even want to be able to hear his words. She didn’t want to be there. She didn’t want to be alive if she wasn’t really her anymore. She should have just died. She never wanted to be like him. Well, that was mostly true. She had only been willing to be like him when she thought they had a future together but they didn’t have a future together anymore. She didn’t want to be like him. She wanted to be her and she could never be here again. She would never be the same and she couldn’t handle it. She didn’t know how to handle it. She didn’t want to handle it so she didn’t answer him. She just made her way into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, locked it.
She used the sink to keep her balance and opened the little drawer that was below it, pulled out the pair of scissors kept there and then let herself slide down to the floor, slid herself over so she was pressed against the tub. She didn’t want to be something she wasn’t supposed to be and she wasn’t supposed to be that. And God, why couldn’t she have just stayed dead? It would be so much better. Her hands shaking, her senses going crazy on her she lifted up her hand and opened the scissors, pressed the blade of one side against her wrist. She pressed down and down and down until the skin started to split and then took a deep breath and adjusted her grip so she could prepare to drag it across her wrist, the smell of blood too damn overwhelming for so little having been shed.
Puck didn’t expect Rachel to handle this easily. It’s something that no one did when they were turned like this, against their will. Sebastian and Quinn both struggled with it but he had this feeling that Rachel was going to be worse than the two of them combined. He didn’t leave but he didn’t exactly follow her either. He just kept a close enough distance that he would be able to know what’s going on, just in case she tried something stupid. Well, at least he thought it would be stupid in the current moment, in her brain it wouldn’t be stupid. IT was subjective to say the least.
He stood there and the minute that he smelled just the tiniest hint of her blood that he knew was not from her clothing that had dried earlier he practically bolted into the bathroom, yanking the scissors out of her hand and tossing them to the other side of the bathroom, hearting the metal from the blades sliding across the tile. There was no way he was going to let her do that and even if it seemed like an asshole move, making that kind of decision for her he didn’t care. She had been through too much and she had to think of Caroline, if she wasn’t going to think of anyone then she needed to think of her daughter. “I have no idea what you’re going through and I’m not even going to pretend that I do. But this is not the answer,” he whispered, trying to be as soft as he could. “I know this isn’t what you wanted but you can’t leave Caroline. She needs you. She needs you more than anything else and I need you.”