Rachel knew, without a doubt, that she shouldn’t be kissing him. And she also knew that the odds of things ending well for them after everything that had happened were slim to none- and that was being generous. They were just so different and they clashed all of the time. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t really a human anymore. She still wasn’t like him. And because she wasn’t like him she knew, without a doubt, they’d continue to clash. They’d continue to have this problem. She’d continue to get hurt. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere inside of him he did love her but did that mean they were going to be alright? She doubted it. It didn’t matter if she wanted to believe they’d be alright. The odds of that happening were so small that she wasn’t sure she was willing to take that risk. And yet there she was kissing him again. Kissing him when she knew she shouldn’t. Kissing him like they were still in love and together though she wasn’t really sure she would say they were ever truly happy. Happy moments were few and far between when it came to them. She had to scratch and scrounge up happy memories between the two of them. The happiest and best thing that came out of their relationship was Caroline and she was sort of an accident. An accident she loved and wouldn’t trade for the world but she definitely wasn’t planned.
For as warm as her body was- and it was scary warm- her hands were cold. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to that higher core temperature thing that she now had. It would probably drive her nuts and she’d probably sweat to death in her warmer clothes. But her hands were still cold like she had been pressing them against a big block of ice. Maybe it was because she had technically died for a little while. She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that they were cold and he was so, so warm that she didn’t even think about what she did next. She just moved her hands down to his waist and slipped them up underneath his t-shirt to press them against his back, trying to warm her hands up more than anything. She dint even think about how oddly intimate the contact was for two people who were broken up. Of course, she didn’t seem to be thinking much were that was involved in that moment anyway.
That night was probably one of the most confusing nights of his life. They were kissing and then he thought she was dead, then she was a wolf, then they were arguing, then she was trying to kill herself, then they were kissing again. The whole night was rather bipolar and he didn’t exactly understand it anymore. What they were doing was probably a really bad idea and would probably only make things worse but he wasn’t going to stop her. He needed her. He needed her more than he had ever needed her before and it would be stupid to push her away. He loved her. He loved her so damn much and he couldn’t even begin to think about what any of this meant, for her, for him, or for Caroline. They could barely speak without things getting awful between the two of them and no amount of kissing was actually going to fix any of that. It just wasn’t going to happen no matter what. And now that she was a wolf he didn’t anticipate things getting better between the two of them. Even though he wanted so desperately for them to be okay.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt her cold hands against his skin. It had been so long since he felt her anywhere besides when she was slapping him. It was so nice and he just stayed there and let her do whatever she was doing. He had no clue what was going on in her mind, which was nothing new when it came to Rachel. It was Rachel after all. He never knew what the hell was going on in her mind, which wasn’t nothing new in all honesty. It’s not like he ever really understood what was going on with him and Rachel. It was always a big mess. But he pushed all those thoughts from his mind and just continued on kissing her. That seemed like the safest idea in his mind, to just keep on kissing her so he dind’t have to think too much about everything that had happened that night.